Well, let me tell ya somethin’ about this Dark and Darker thing and this X-what’s-it-called, Xsolla. It’s a mess, I tell ya, a real mess! My grandson, he’s always on that computer, wanted this game. Said it was all the rage. So, I said, alright, I’ll get it for ya. Figured it’d be simple. Ha! Simple like a fox in a henhouse, that’s what it was.
First off, you gotta go to some website. Dark and Darker, they call it. Sounds spooky if you ask me. Then you gotta make an account. Now, I ain’t no computer whiz, but I managed to sign up. Put in my email and all that. Thought I was doin’ good. Even felt a little bit proud of myself.
Then comes the payin’ part. That’s where this Xsolla thing comes in. Sounds like some kind of fancy disease. They say it’s safe, secure and whatnot. This Xsolla payment is how you buy the darn thing. They say it is safe and secure way to pay. Like I care about that stuff, I just want the game!
- You gotta put in your card number.
- Then the date thingy on the card.
- And that secret number on the back.
I did all that. Followed the instructions like a good little girl. And what happens? “Payment Failed,” it says. “Payment Failed”! Like I don’t have two nickels to rub together! I got money. I know I got money! I tried it again. And again! Same thing. “Payment Failed”. Felt like throwin’ the whole computer out the window.
They got all these ways to pay, too. Credit cards, somethin’ called digital wallets, even that crypto-money that sounds like a scam to me. They say it got 700 ways to pay. 700! Who needs that many ways? Why can’t it be simple? Back in my day, you just give them cash and you are done. Now it’s all online, and it don’t even work right!
Some folks online, they say it’s ’cause there’s too many people tryin’ to buy this Dark and Darker game. Too much traffic, they call it. Like a traffic jam on the highway, but with money instead of cars. Says it’s overwhelmin’ their servers. Whatever that means. Sounds like a bunch of hogwash to me. They just can’t handle it, that’s what I think. This Xsolla payment system just can’t handle all the people. That is what I think.
Then there’s these error codes. Numbers and letters all jumbled up. Supposed to tell you what went wrong. But it’s like tryin’ to read chicken scratch. One of ’em says the amount is too large. Too large! Like I’m tryin’ to buy a whole farm or somethin’. It’s just a game! Another one was just numbers. Means nothin’ to me.
I even saw some folks sayin’ they got charged multiple times! Can you believe that? Charged over and over for somethin’ they didn’t even get. That’s just wrong. Highway robbery, that’s what it is. This Dark and Darker Xsolla thing is making people upset. I am upset!
They say you can check your payment history on that Dark and Darker website. Like that’s gonna help. I just want the game for my grandson! I don’t want to be looking at history of failed money things. I am no history teacher!
And you know what else I saw? They’re makin’ a Dark and Darker Mobile version. For the phones! Like we need more of this mess. Now it’s gonna be on the little phone screens too. Lord help us all. They say you can get updates about it at the Xsolla Mall. What is a Xsolla Mall?! Is it a real mall? I am so confused!
And to top it all off, they say their support team is busy. Busy! Like they got somethin’ better to do than help folks who are tryin’ to give ’em money. It’s the holiday season, they say. Well, I say bah humbug to that! They should be ready for people buying things. Everyone knows people buy things on holidays!
So, if you see charges on your card you don’t know. It might be this Xsolla thing. They say it is used for lots of games. Not just this Dark and Darker. It could be anything! Be careful out there!
This whole Dark and Darker Xsolla thing is just a big headache. I’m tellin’ ya, it ain’t worth the trouble. I’m goin’ back to my knitting. At least that makes sense. This whole thing is just too much for an old lady like me. It used to be so simple. Now it is too much.
