Well, well, well, look what we got here, a whole bunch of new them cards, they call it New Phyrexia. You know, like that old place, Phyrexia. Sounds fancy, don’t it? But I tell ya, these cards, they ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. Some of ’em look downright creepy, like somethin’ you’d find in old man Johnson’s barn after a rat got into the poison.
They say there’s a whole mess of them, these New Phyrexia card list, like 271 of ’em. Can you believe it? That’s more cards than there are teeth in my whole family! And they got all sorts of names, commons, uncommons, rares, and these fancy “mythic rares”. Sounds like a load of hogwash to me, but the young’uns sure do get excited about ’em. They are all about this New Phyrexia card list.
Now, I heard there’s these special ones, like this Elesh Norn, Mother of Machines. Sounds like somethin’ outta one of them space movies. And another one, Mondrak, Glory Dominus. Don’t even ask me what that means. These are some of the big shots, the ones everyone wants. I think they are also part of this New Phyrexia card list. They’re probably worth more than my old mule, bless her heart.
And then there’s Vraska, Betrayal’s Sting. Sting, huh? Sounds like trouble. And Skrelv, Defector Mite. Mite? Like them little bugs that get in the flour? These names, I tell ya, they just don’t make ’em like they used to.
They say this whole thing, this New Phyrexia, it’s got a symbol. A circle with a line through it. Reminds me of that Greek letter, you know the one, Phi. They call it “Phi-rexian”. Fancy, ain’t it? Just like those city folk with their fancy words.
Now, these Phyrexian, they ain’t your regular folks. They’re, well, they’re different. They got metal and, well, other stuff mixed in. Some of ’em don’t even have eyes! And they got these things, cysts and pustules. Sounds like a bad case of the chickenpox if you ask me. And they’re always drippin’ somethin’. Nasty stuff, I reckon. They are really something in this New Phyrexia card list.
If you’re lookin’ for these cards, these New Phyrexia card list, you gotta find ’em somewhere. I saw some down at the general store, but they were all sealed up in them little packs. They call ’em “boosters”. Like somethin’ you’d give your car to get it goin’.
And they got different kinds of these boosters, too. There’s these “Draft Boosters”. Sounds like somethin’ you’d get at the bar. They say it is for players to “draft” the set. I do not know what does “draft” mean. But they have it in the New Phyrexia card list.
Then there’s these bundles, they got like ten of them booster packs in ’em, and some other stuff. A foil card, whatever that is. And a player’s guide. Probably tells you how to play with these things. I still think these are all part of that New Phyrexia card list.
I tell ya, these young’uns and their card games. Back in my day, we just had a deck of regular playin’ cards. And we were happy with it! We didn’t need no fancy New Phyrexia card list with creatures and spells and whatnot.
- Commons
- Uncommons
- Rares
- Mythic Rares
That’s what they call the different types of cards. Like I said, more types of cards than there are chickens in my coop. This New Phyrexia card list is really something.
And they got prices for all of ’em, too. Some of ’em are cheap, some of ’em are expensive. Just like everything else, I suppose. You get what you pay for. But as I said before, this New Phyrexia card list can be expensive.
Well, I reckon that’s all I know about this New Phyrexia card list business. It’s a lot to take in, I tell ya. But the young’uns seem to like it, so I guess that’s all that matters. Just keep ’em outta trouble, that’s what I always say.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I gotta go tend to my garden. These tomatoes ain’t gonna pick themselves, you know. And unlike these New Phyrexia card list, at least I can eat them.
