This here alabaster beard, it ain’t as easy as it looks, you know. Takes some doin’ to get it all white and fluffy like this. I seen a lot of beards in my time, some scraggly, some bushy, some just plain ol’ messy. But a good, long, white beard, that’s somethin’ special.
First thing you gotta know, it takes time. Can’t rush a good thing. I read somewhere, they call it the “3-month beard rule.” That means you gotta just let that thing grow, like a weed in the garden. Don’t go at it with them scissors or nothin’. Just let it be. Three whole months. You let it grow, let it reach its full potential, they say. Like a flower bloom, I guess, only it’s hair on your face.
And it don’t matter if it’s long or short, or thin like a stray cat’s tail, or thick like a sheep’s wool. What matters is you take care of it, like you take care of that old garden out back. Gotta keep it healthy, you see.
Now, I ain’t no expert, but I heard tell that what you eat makes a difference. Like them vitamins and such. Good food makes a good beard, I reckon. Like, you wouldn’t expect a prize-winning pumpkin from a plant that ain’t been watered, right? Same goes for your beard. Eat your greens and whatnot.
- Eat good food, they say.
- Vitamins, maybe?
- Keep it healthy like a garden.
And the skin underneath, that’s important too. Can’t have a nice beard if the skin under it is all dry and flaky. Gotta keep that skin happy, like a well-fed pig. I don’t know what them young folks use, some kind of fancy lotion, I bet. Back in my day, we just used what we had. But the idea’s the same. Healthy skin, healthy beard.
They say every beard is different. Like snowflakes, or somethin’. But they all grow, you know. Just gotta give ’em time and care. I seen some folks with beards so soft, you’d think it was a baby’s blanket. Others, well, they look like a bird’s nest that’s seen better days. It’s all in how you treat it.
Now, this here alabaster beard of mine, it’s seen a lot. Seen sunshine and rain, seen good times and bad. It’s been with me through thick and thin, you could say. And I take care of it, best I can. Wash it regular, comb it out when it gets tangled. Sometimes, I even put a little somethin’ on it to keep it soft.
- Keep the skin underneath healthy.
- Every beard is different, like snowflakes!
- Wash it. Maybe use some oil on it.
- Gotta comb it so it don’t look like a rat’s nest.
Some folks, they use them fancy oils and balms. Heard they make the beard all soft and shiny. I don’t know about all that. Seems like a lot of fuss to me. But if it works for them, then that’s good. Me, I’m happy with what I got. This alabaster beard is a part of me now, like an old friend.
I remember this one fella, he had a beard that went all the way down to his belly button. Longest darn thing I ever did see. He used to braid it, sometimes. Looked like a rope, it did. He was proud of that beard, let me tell you. Took him years to grow it, he said.
And then there was another one, had a beard so short, you could barely see it. But he kept it trimmed all neat and tidy. Looked real sharp, he did. Just goes to show, it ain’t the size of the beard that matters, it’s how you wear it. Like a hat, almost.
I reckon a beard is like a story. It tells you somethin’ about a person. Where they been, what they done. This alabaster beard of mine, it’s got a lot of stories in it. Stories of laughter and tears, of hard work and good times. It’s a reminder of all the years gone by.
So, if you’re thinkin’ about growin’ a beard, just remember what I said. Be patient. Take care of it. And don’t be afraid to let it tell your story. It might take a little time, but a good beard is worth the wait. Just like a good, long life, and those stories to tell by the fire. A good beard, especially an alabaster beard, that’s somethin’ to be proud of.
You treat it right, your beard will be good to you. Just gotta keep it clean. Keep it soft. And don’t forget to take care of that skin! You do that, and you’ll have a beard that will make people stop and stare. It’ll be a real head-turner. And maybe, just maybe, it’ll be a beautiful alabaster beard, just like mine.
