Alright, let’s talk about this Protracker Dota thing, whatever that is. Kids these days with their fancy computer games, I tell ya. But if you want to play this Dota thingy and not have it look like a bunch of blurry chickens running around, you gotta make some changes, they tell me. Like, make it run faster, you know?
First thing, they say something about resolution. Sounds fancy, huh? Just make it smaller, like squinting your eyes but on the computer. They say it makes the game run faster, not so jumpy. Less blurry chickens, more like… clear chickens, I guess. And the textures, that’s like the clothes the chickens wear, make ‘em plain and simple, not all fancy-dancy. Low or medium, they say.
- Resolution: Make it smaller
- Texture Quality: Low or medium, keep it simple
Then there’s this shadow business. Shadows are just trouble, always lurking. Turn ‘em off, they say, or make ‘em small and blurry. Who needs shadows anyway? Just makes things harder to see, like finding a dropped needle in a haystack, only with more chickens.
And this anti-aliasing thing. Sounds like something the doctor gives ya, but it’s not. They say turn it off or make it low. Makes the edges of things less jagged, but who cares about jagged edges when you got chickens to chase? Just make the game run faster, that’s what matters.
Then there are effects. Sparkles and explosions and whatnot. Turn ‘em down, they say. Too much flash, not enough bang for your buck, you know? We ain’t here for a fireworks show, we’re here to… well, I don’t know what we’re here for, but make it run faster!
V-Sync, they call it. Sounds like something from outer space. Turn it off, they say. Something about lag. Lag is bad, like a rusty gate that won’t open. You want smooth, like butter on a hot biscuit, not lag.
And make sure your computer thingy, the graphics card, is up to snuff. Like feeding your chickens good corn, gotta keep that card happy. They say update it, whatever that means. Like giving it a shot of vitamins, I guess.
Now, about that mouse contraption. They say you don’t need any fancy programs. Just set your Windows thingy to 6/11 and that DPI to 1000. Sounds like gibberish, but okay. And turn off that pointer precision thing, or mouse acceleration. Mess with your memory, they say. Like trying to remember how many eggs you collected when the rooster keeps crowing in your ear.
And here’s a secret they told me, some kind of magic words: fps_max 0. Type that in, and the game runs super-fast, they say. Like a greased pig on a downhill slope. Above 240 FPS, whatever that means. Just faster, I guess. That’s good, right?
There’s also a slider, they say. Game Screen Render Quality. Sounds important. Slide it around until the chickens look good but the game still runs fast. Like finding the sweet spot when you’re churning butter, not too hard, not too soft.
And something about compute shaders. Sounds like witchcraft. Turn it on, they say, it helps the computer thingy work better. Like giving your chickens a special potion to lay more eggs. Or something.
So, to recap, make things smaller, simpler, and faster. Turn off the fancy stuff you don’t need. Update your computer thingy. And use those magic words. That’s what they tell me. And apparently, you can watch those high MMR players like Arteezy, Miracle, Ame, TOPSON, Ana, and Yatoro. Watch how they play heroes like Sand King and Windranger. Learn from the best, they say.
They also say you can look at match history and live games of those high MMR players and pros. Probably another way to learn this Dota game faster. All these fancy words and computer things, but it all boils down to one thing: make it run smooth and see those chickens clearly!
- Shadow Quality: Off or low
- Anti-Aliasing: Off or low
- Effects Quality: Lower it
- V-Sync: Turn it off
- Update Graphics Card Drivers
- Mouse Settings: Windows Sens 6/11, DPI 1000, Pointer Precision Off
- Console Command: fps_max 0
- Game Screen Render Quality: Adjust for balance
- Compute Shaders: Enable
Anyways, that’s what they told me. If your game is still running like a three-legged mule, well, I don’t know what to tell ya. Maybe go back to feeding chickens, that’s what I say. At least you know where you stand with chickens.
