You know what? This old lady, I’ve been hearing things about these “amass orcs cards.” Sounds like a whole lot of hocus pocus to me, but the young’uns are all crazy about it. They keep talking about “Magic: The Gathering” and some such. I don’t get it, but I’m trying, you know? These cards, they got orcs on ’em, ugly fellas. And you gotta “amass” them, like gathering eggs from the henhouse, but it’s more complicated than that.
So, these amass orcs cards, they make these orc armies. One card, lots of orcs, it’s like a whole mess of ’em on one little piece of paper. They say “Amass 1” means you get one of them orc fellas, and he’s got a little somethin’ extra, a “+1/+1” they call it. Makes him stronger, I guess. Like feeding him extra corn, or giving him an extra tool. Then “Amass 2” means you get two of them +1/+1 things. Makes your orc army bigger, like they’re calling in all their cousins from over the hills.
And these orcs, they ain’t just orcs. Sometimes they’re zombies, too! Can you believe it? Orcs and zombies, all mixed up together. Like a stew with everything thrown in, even things you don’t rightly want in there. I reckon that is the magic they talking about.
Now, I heard if you don’t got an army already, you make one when you “amass.” But if you already got an army, you just add to it. It’s like, you got a bunch of chickens in the coop, and then you bring in some more. They all get together, make a bigger flock. These orcs, they do the same. They just keep adding up, getting bigger and bigger. And the more you got, the better, I suppose. That’s how you win this game, having the biggest, baddest bunch of orcs and zombies.
- Amass 1, get an orc.
- Amass 2, get him more powerful.
- Orcs and zombies, all mixed up.
- Make an army, or add to the one you got.
- More orcs, better chance to win.
They got all sorts of these amass orcs cards, it seems. Some folks are sayin’ there are 31 of these orcs cards, others talk about 57 “amass” cards, maybe all cards that can help you “amass”. I don’t know all the details, I just hear bits and pieces. But it seems like there’s a whole lot of ’em out there. And each one’s got its own thing, its own way of making your army stronger. Like different kinds of seeds you plant in the garden, each one grows up a little different. And you need to know each of these amass cards to play well.
And there’s this fella, “Saruman,” they talk about him a lot. He’s got some powerful magic, makes the orcs even stronger. He sounds like a mean old coot, but I guess if you’re playing with orcs, you want a mean old coot on your side. The young folks, they like to use Saruman’s magic to make a huge army of these orcs. It’s like using special fertilizer on your crops, makes ’em grow bigger and faster. And they say you can use this powerful magic to win the game, beat your opponents, whoever they may be.
They got some fancy words for all this, too. “Army Token,” they call it. Sounds like something you’d get at the fair, but it’s just a way of saying you got a bunch of orcs, I reckon. And they got another one, “+1/+1 counters.” That’s the extra power, the thing that makes the orcs stronger. Like I said, feeding ’em extra, or giving ’em a better weapon.
There’s some cards that, maybe they ain’t the best. But you can change them out, like trading eggs with your neighbor for a different kind. You find better ones, ones that make your orc army even more powerful. They call it “Support cards”, but you need to know both forms of “Amass” to do this right. Then the orcs army gets more powerful, stronger.
And don’t forget, these cards, they got some special rules, too. Like, you can take a card from your “graveyard” and put it on your “library.” Don’t ask me what that means, it’s all part of the game. Then you can “Amass Orcs 2” after that. It sounds mighty complicated to this old lady. But the young folks, they seem to understand it. They can tell you all about it, if you got the time to listen.
There are a lot of cards that have “amass orcs” on them. I don’t know what “Paper” means, but the young folks say these “amass orcs” cards are available on it. And they use these cards on some “MTG Arena”. It is some kind of place where they play this “Magic” game. And they say these cards are legal in “Commander” and “EDH”. I don’t know what these are, but they are probably some groups of people who play this game. These young folks update this game very often, it is hard for me to keep up with it.
This whole “amass orcs cards” thing, it’s a lot to take in. But I guess it’s like anything else. You learn it little by little, piece by piece. Just like learning to knit, or bake a pie. You start with the basics, then you add more, and before you know it, you’re doing it like a pro. Maybe one day I’ll understand it better. But for now, I’ll just listen to the young’uns talk, and try to keep up. They sure do love their orcs and zombies, these kids. It’s a strange world, ain’t it?
