You know what? This old lady, I heard some young folks talking ’bout that Tomb Raider I-III Remastered game. What’s it all about? They say it’s comin’ out as a physical edition. What’s that mean? Back in my day, we played games, but not like this, no sir!
They say it’s those old Tomb Raider games, but all spiffed up. Tomb Raider, what a name! Sounds like somethin’ you’d find in the graveyard. But I guess it’s about some lady, Lara Croft. That name sounds familiar, I reckon. They say you can pre-order it now. Pre-order? What in the tarnation is that? Just buy the darn thing when it comes out, I say!
And they say this Tomb Raider Remastered physical thing is “region-free”. What does that mean? Does it come from nowhere? Is it magic? And they say somethin’ ’bout a disc for a PlayStation 5. Is that one of them newfangled TV machines? We had a black and white TV. That was good enough for us. And a Nintendo Switch? Sounds like a switch for beatin’ naughty kids.
This here Tomb Raider I-III Remastered physical thing, seems like a big deal. They say pre-orders end June 23rd. June 23rd! Why the rush, I say? And what’s with all these editions? Standard, Deluxe, Collector’s. Back in my day, you got what you got, and you were happy with it! There weren’t no fancy editions of nothin’.
I heard them say you can get this thing on somethin’ called Limited Run. Limited Run? What, they gonna run outta these things? And they say it ain’t numbered. What’s the point of that?
- Tomb Raider I
- Tomb Raider II
- Tomb Raider III
Those are the games, they say, all in one. Sounds like a lot of game for your buck. But then they say it might take a year to get to you! A whole year! I could knit a whole blanket in that time. What’s the holdup, I wonder?
And this Lara Croft gal, she’s in all three games, they say. Plus some extra stuff. “Bonus content”, they call it. We didn’t have no bonus content back in the day. You played the game, and that was it. No extras. No fuss.
Some folks are sayin’ the Deluxe Edition is the way to go. I guess they got more money than sense. And I heard the PC folks, they only get a physical game in a Collector’s Edition. Sounds like a rip-off to me. Just give ’em the game, I say! No need for all this fancy stuff. I seen some folks say they preordered standard for PS4, what’s a PS4?
These game people, Aspyr and Crystal Dynamics they called, are sayin’ it will come out on September 24th, 2024. I say that is a long time away. Why all the waiting?
So this Tomb Raider I-III Remastered physical thing is comin’ in three versions. Standard, Deluxe, and somethin’ else. You can get it for PS4, PS5, Xbox One. What are those? Sounds like a bunch of mumbo jumbo to me.
And they say you can get this thing at the “usual retail outlets”. What’s that mean? The general store? We used to have a general store in town. You could get everything there, from nails to candy. Is that what they mean?
Well, I don’t know ’bout all this newfangled stuff. Games were simpler back in my day. But if you young folks are into this Tomb Raider physical thing, then more power to ya. Just don’t spend all your money on it, ya hear? You need to save some for a rainy day. That’s what us old folks always say. Just some words from this old lady who have seen many things in this world. You need to keep your head straight and think about the future.
